


Always

by CatContessa



Category: Dangan Ronpa
Genre: F/M, Read at Your Own Risk, sad self-indulgent crap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2015-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-03 19:37:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4112538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatContessa/pseuds/CatContessa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set some time after 'Fly the Banner', Chisato tries to keep it together- but some things can't just be swept under the rug so easily.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Always

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ParadoxProphet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ParadoxProphet/gifts).



> Recommended: Make sure you're listening to "Itsumo Nando Demo" from Spirited Away while reading this. Also I'll probably come back and edit this later when I'm not crying my eyes out.

It had been some months since the day they all escaped the horrors of the Killing Game. While having been reunited with her classmates and remaining friends, Chisato Ueda had immediately applied herself to the scientific division of the Future Foundation to distance herself from a very changed Hikari Nanase and the haunted faces of Class 79. Her work kept her distracted, kept her away from the counsellors and psychologists who wanted to talk to her to get her to open up about her 'trauma'. Though losing friends and colleagues was sad, even if it was either discovering their corpses or watching them being stuck like pigs with spears, but it wasn't anything the botanist hadn't seen before. Watching people getting shot and treated like they were less than human while being at risk of the same treatment? That was a trauma that she'd long since dealt with and gotten over entirely. Grief, loss, death- she could deal with them, as long as there was something for her to busy her hands with and something rational for her mind to process. Science was rational, and there was method in the madness of a scientist- always a purpose. Killing for the sake of killing, despair for the sake of despair- that had no purpose. It was not worth thinking about. 

Unfortunately, her work had also distanced Chisato from Shizuka Matsuki, and the painter was doing all she could for her remaining classmates, even after Saemi Sasagawa had returned- but, at Shuuya Kuronaga's request, she had been detained for questioning. Chisato didn't believe her claims that she'd abandoned Super High School Despair for good and was, at present, in charge of the full medical examination. Sasagawa was shooting her dirty looks, but the botanist cared little for the juvenile gesture.

"Miss Sasagawa. Remove your clothes so we can begin the examination."

"What, don't you trust me?" Saemi crossed her arms. "Isn't my word good enough for you?"

"It's not. Makoto-kun's too trusting and your acting is terrible." Chisato adjusted her glasses boredly. "Your clothes, please."

"But—!"

" Now. " Chisato narrowed her eyes at the taller girl. "Or would you prefer to be further detained under suspicion? It's best to come clean so we can decide what can be done. Tsumiki's handiwork isn't hard to spot, and I'm  very good at picking out liars."

Saemi's clothing was removed, and small surgical scars were found- definitely Tsumiki's work- and she was detained once more. However, Saemi had been a friend of Shizuka's once upon a time before the world crashed about their ears, so she didn't take the news well. 

"Saemi-san...I can't believe it..." The painter sighed sadly, her voice choked with tears. "Why would she lie to us?"

"She's being questioned at present," Chisato replied, focusing on some files she was going over. "Kirigiri-senpai will get the truth out of her." 

Matsuki just looked at her friend in a sort of shock. "How cold of you, Chisato-san..."

"It was? I didn't notice." Chisato turned the page and made notes in a notebook nearby. "My apologies."

They were silent for a while before Matsuki spoke again. "Do you know what day it is?"

"Seventh of June. Why do you ask?"

"What's the date going to be in two days' time?"

"Is it important?"

Matsuki just left the room.

—

A week passed. Chisato continued her work and barely spoke to anyone, and this time, she had a visit from Kazumi Katsuya, Matsuki's closest friend.

"Hey, uh...got a minute?"

"At present, yes." Chisato didn't even look at the older girl. "Pull up a chair- just be mindful of the files."

Kazumi did as she said and sat in a chair near Chisato's desk. "So, uh...how're ya holdin' up?"

"Well enough. I hope Hikari hasn't given you trouble."

"What, Nanase?" Kazumi chuckled and waved her hand dismissively. "Nah, she's too busy makin' kissy-face with Yoshihara. Anyways, that ain't what I'm here for." The smile faded and Kazumi leaned forward in her seat. "Y'know...I saw ya with Oowada while we was all watchin' the Killin' Game. You two looked happy together." Chisato didn't respond. "Ya miss him, huh?" The vocalist asked. "I don' blame ya. He was a friend 'a mine, too. It must'a been hard for ya, wonderin' if you could really convict someone who meant so much to ya of murder."

"Is there a point to this, Katsuya-san?"

"My point is...well..." Kazumi sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Fuck. Okay. Look, his birthday was a fuckin' week ago. Matsuki was really upset wit'cha for not rememberin', so I thought I'd tell ya instead. I understand ya got yer memories wiped an' all, but...c'mon, ya gotta at least remember dat." She shrugged. "Then again, given that yer so busy these days, I wouldn't blame ya if you forgot it."

"That's impossible, it's only..."

"It's June seventeenth." Said Kazumi. "Mondo would'a been nineteen a  week ago."

That hit Chisato like a sack of bricks. She dropped her pen and slumped in her chair, feeling like an idiot as she hung her head. "I didn't mean to," She said quietly.

"I know." Kazumi shrugged again. "Yer' still puttin' yer memories back together. No one's gonna blame ya if y' forget somethin'." The vocalist stood. "I'll, uh...I'll just let'cha be for now. Ya got some stuffs to think over, so I'mma leave ya to it." The older girl left and shut the door on her way out, leaving Chisato to her thoughts.

—

Due to the events that followed, Chisato had no choice but to push those thoughts aside. Soon, another week passed, and then another. June twenty-sixth-  her  birthday- rolled around, but no one celebrated it with her. With Saemi well-detained and the students of Class 79 in the Paradise Rehabilitation program, Hikari had not moved from Minoru's side and lashed out if anyone tried to make her leave, and Matsuki was asleep, and her other classmates were engaged otherwise with other duties. The guilt from forgetting Mondo's birthday was getting to Chisato as she tried to go about her usual business, but there was no 'happy birthday' from anybody. No presents, no cake, and none of her grandfather's special moon mochi. It wasn't like she'd had time to celebrate. She was the chief medical officer of the rehabilitation program, and had to be in the room almost constantly to monitor the health of the patients, so when Asahina had told her to take the night off, there wasn't a celebration, or a surprise party. There was Chisato, alone in her room, with a lit candle stuck in a stale cupcake. The lights were off, and the candle's wan, amber glow illuminated the  kokeshi doll on her nightstand- it had been her grandfather's gift to her when she received her first Nobel Prize in medicine, and it was all she had left of him. Her lucky lantern that hung above her bed didn't even bring her peace- she'd stopped believing in her imaginary magical goldfish friend a long time ago, but she wished that she could believe again, if only so she wouldn't be alone. Mondo's coat was draped around her shoulders as she watched the wax from the candle drip onto the cupcake, but not even that could bring her any sort of comfort. 

Mondo had meant almost the whole world to her after everything went crazy. He'd protected her and made her laugh on days where it seemed impossible. He was a goofy bastard, but he would've done anything for her sake- at one point he'd even said that he would've died for her. They were each other's comfort, each other's anchor to hope and sanity. During the killing game, when they didn't remember each other, they found each other again, much like the dearly departed Ishimaru did with Matsuki, and their relationship was still the same. Still the same morning greetings and the usual "take care" before saying goodnight and parting ways, still the same cocky, goofy Mondo she'd always known with that stupid grin with his tiny fangs and his lame jokes and his heart of gold before he was executed. Mondo had looked to her after he'd admitted the crime- and Chisato saw the look of betrayal in Ishimaru's when he looked to her as if begging her to say something rational in his friend's defense, and that trial still haunted her to this day.

Singing 'Happy Birthday' to herself had never been more depressing, and the concept of a 'Sweet Sixteen' just left a sour taste in the botanist's mouth.

—

Months passed. Matsuki seemed happier ever since she came out of the simulation, Mika and Tsuneo were now married, and things were looking good. Chisato tried her best to keep her composure as she went about business as usual, this time with a much more stable (and bearable) Ryouta Hoshino to assist her. Oh, sure, they still had their differences, but at least it was about something other than whatever petty argument Ryouta decided to drag Chisato into- they were actually becoming good friends now and putting aside most of their old grudges with each other. The surviving students who were once members of Super High School Level Despair had also returned, and after an awful nightmare, Kumiko Akamine had mended her relationship with Gundam Tanaka, and the two were near inseparable, just as it once was before their lives all fell apart. Nobuo Nanase was found alive, and brought home just in time for Hikari's birthday. Chisato attended, got caught up in a Nanase-trademark-bear-hug, but left soon after so Hikari could catch up with her father, and introduce him to Minoru Yoshihara, with whom she'd been quite happy with for some time now.

Seeing her friends move on with their lives like that was, for lack of a better word, bittersweet. Chisato was happy for them, but she noticed that they hardly spoke to her. Matsuki hung around her old friends a lot more, and now with Mika and Tsuneo expecting their first child very soon, the focus was on Mika. Hikari barely spoke to Chisato anymore, but the botanist blamed herself- she  had  been isolating herself ever since she'd come back with the survivors of Class 78. She felt very lonely, though she didn't dare to admit it. She wanted her grandfather. She wanted Mondo. She wanted to turn back the clock to a time where none of this craziness was happening and she was safe and happy at her house with her Grandfather and drinking hot tea while watching the rain and singing songs together while Tadashi played his  shamisen and Chisato strummed her ukulele. 

Up late one night, Chisato hadn't had a wink of sleep, so she almost shrieked in alarm when there was a knock at her door. She opened it, and standing on the other side was Hikari, with Shizuka, Kazumi (who was carrying a guitar), and Kumiko. Hikari had a lopsided smile on her face.

"Hey, uh..." The tawny-haired girl rubbed her neck. "I know it's my birthday, but, well..."

"We missed your birthday," Finished Matsuki. "Can we come in? We wanted to do something special for you to make up for it."

"My birthday was months ago," Chisato replied. "Look, it's really okay—"

"But you  can't just forget your own birthday!" Kumiko exclaimed. "It was supposed to be your sweet sixteen!"

"That's just a stupid American concept." Chisato sighed and stepped aside. "You're not going to go away if I say no, so you might as well come on in." The girls all filed inside with Kumiko belly-flopping onto Chisato's bed. 

Hikari laid a hand on Chisato's shoulder. "Sorry we didn't get you anything."

Chisato shrugged as if to say it was okay, and she sat down on her bed before Kazumi called Kazumi over some paces nearby with Matsuki. "We'd like t' dedicate this song to the friends and family we've lost and gained," Kazumi announced. "May they always be in our hearts and minds."

"And to you, dear Chisato-san," Continued Matsuki. "Whose strength has been invaluable. We're all very proud of you. Happy Birthday."

Hikari put an arm around Chisato, who was silently trying to resist telling Matsuki that there was no need for this and she wasn't angry about people missing her birthday, but Kazumi had started strumming her guitar. "This ain't my usual stuff, but here we go..."

Kazumi sang with Matsuki and Kumiko, and Chisato knew the tune: Always With Me, from Spirited Away. She loved Miyazaki films, and it had been one of her favourites, so it was touching to hear her friends singing it to her. 

Windows of beginning, stillness, new light of the dawn

Let my silent, empty body be filled up and then reborn

No need to search outside, or sail across the seven seas

Because shining here inside me, it’s right here inside me,

I’ve found the light of your voice; it has always been with me.

That last verse made Chisato burst into tears- the whole song had brought up old memories of her grandfather and Mondo, and the happy times she could never get back, but their memories lived on as long as she still lived. She got up and nearly tackled Matsuki to the ground as she sobbed into the painter's shirt. 

"Thank you," She wailed. "Thank you so much...!"

Matsuki hugged her friend tightly, and soon the girls joined in. Hikari ruffled the botanist's hair. "Your gramps wouldn't have wanted you to be sad on your birthday, what're you even doing?" Hikari meant no ill-will by this, but how could Chisato  not  cry?

"I didn't mean to forget! I didn't want to, but I was so stupid that I forgot and...!"

"Chisato-san, it's okay." Matsuki's tone was firm, but it quieted Chisato enough for her to get a word in. "Mondo wouldn't have been mad at you. Your grandfather wouldn't have been mad at you. No one's mad at you. Understand?"

Chisato nodded, and the night went on with the girls playing a few rounds of hanafuda together before they all decided to sleep there for the night. Chisato slept peacefully, knowing that she hadn't really been forgotten after all, and that she was, for the first in a long time, able to smile without having to fake it.

—

"Happy birthday, babe."

"It's hardly the time for us to be celebrating, Mon-chan."

"It's still your birthday, ain't it? C'mon, I had to beg one 'a Matsuki's classmates to help me make these. Make a wish!"

"You big goof. I love you."

"Love you, too, Chisa-chan."


End file.
